Can i not drive my cunt home
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
