as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
