Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
