Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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