so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
