you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sorry my hands just texted you
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
