If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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