sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
