Are we in a gay sports bar?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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