My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
