lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
