piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
