it hurts more in the daytime
I wish you could order shots online.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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