I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
