WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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