It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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