i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
