I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
