I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I checked into jail on foursquare
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
