I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
