I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You have to summon your inner elephant
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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