WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
thus making me awesome and them whores
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
