Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
