the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So here I am, sexting at work.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
