I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
