The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
