It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
