I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
