I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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