what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
that's an acceptable place to lick
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
