at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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