So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
mondays should just be called national damage control day
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
