dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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