I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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