To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
