you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
