how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
