This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
