You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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