At least make sure they are 18
Why
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
