She just used a chaser for red wine.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
