i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
