i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
