This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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