bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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