I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
