Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
