In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
