So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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