Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
